Blood Gulch Blues
by Project Nevermore
Summary: What happens when the Red vs Blue guys get music....? Language, Little Slash and some romance. Read and Review please! Done when bored, so not too exciting. Woohoo, Dissing my own work! D
1. Chapter 1

Blood Gulch Blues

Author's Note: First I would like to say I do not own Red vs. Blue. Owned by Burnie Burns and Rooster Teeth productions. But I do own the character Paige and the name mention 'Stephanie'. Name mention 'Amanda' owned by my friend Amanda, and the character Washington owned by my other friend Matt. And last Serena is owned by my friend Serena..hehe.

One more thing, it's advised you listen to the songs featured in the story to get the whole feel. Here is the soundtrack for your convenience.

Blood Gulch Blues by Trocadero (Roses are Red, Violets are Blue)

Never Tear Us Apart by INXS (Donnie Darko Soundtrack)

Notorious by Duran Duran (Donnie Darko Soundtrack)

Life by E-Type

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper (She's So Unusual)

Disarm by The Smashing Pumpkins

Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult

Dream by The Cranberries

Dragostea Din Tei by O-Zone (Also known as the Numa Numa Song)

Sparkling Diamonds by Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge Soundtrack)

Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin (Halo 2 Soundtrack)

I'm Blue by Eiffel 65

Dirty Little Secret by The All American Rejects

If You Like Pina Coladas by Rupert Holmes (AKA 'Escape (The Pina Colada Song)')

Complainte de le Butte by ? (Moulin Rouge Soundtrack)

Hell's Bells by AC/DC (Back In Black)

Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd

Evil by Interpol (Antics)

Thanks for going through this entirely long A/N, and I hope you enjoy the story.

**Prologue Track 'Blood Gulch Blues by Trocadero'**

'_Roses are red and violets are blue,_

_One day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch Avenue._

_It's Red vs. Red...and Blue vs. Blue,_

_It's I against I and me against you...'_

It was a peaceful and sunny day. The birds were singing and the plants swayed happily in the breeze. Cliché, isn't it? Well, it's not like that at all. I'm your narrator on this bloody fine day. Don't like it? Tough!

As I was saying, the day was like any other day in Blood Gulch. It was bright, like normal, and the ground was torn up, scorched, bloody, dug up, etc. You know, like any normal battlefield. The day before was most likely the most exciting day these two armies saw in a very long time. A lot had happened in the past couple of months. The Reds received two new members, two girls named Paige and Serena. Paige, the first one to arrive, is the younger sister of the Blue's Freelancer, Tex. During Paige's first battle, her sister shot her in the arm. They unfortunately didn't know they were fighting each other until it was too late. Serena, a UNSC Pelican Pilot, was shot down by Sheila and fixed up by Sarge. She is now a cyborg that was ordered to help the Red Army.

Now the Blues also have some new soldiers. Well, only one. They received a second Freelancer by the codename of Washington at the same time the Reds received their first recruit, Paige Darko. He was mistaken for a girl at first when the drop into Blood Gulch damaged his voice filters.

Now that you have the details...The battle started out like any normal day. The Reds hated the Blues and the Blues hated the Reds. Between mistaken identity, a squirrel, and a gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream did the battle start. No one knew exactly what happened...and I think things should be kept that way. After their battle, they called a truce, had some drinks, and headed off on their own way. This is where I must leave you, for the story is about to start.

It was a peaceful and sunny day...and it was a very bad mistake to introduce Red vs. Blue to music...

'_Hop in my car, it don't have any doors._

_It's built like a cat, it lands on all fours._

_My cars like a Puma, it drives on all fours..._

_...Red vs. Red and Blue vs. Blue...'_

**Track One 'Never Tear Us Apart by INXS'**

Usually I'm a morning person, if breakfast is involved. Unfortunately for today Doc was cooking. I heard them talking last night. I lay in bed, shutting my eyes against the light that attempted to end my dreams. I could hear footsteps from down the hall, and the next thing I know there was banging on my door. I turned over and hid my head under the pillow.

"GRIF! BREAKFAST! NOW! If you don't come out in the next five minutes you'll find your breakfast being shoved down your throat!"

That was Darko. Private Paige Darko. The new one, the rookie…My girlfriend. That's right, you heard my correct. Someone actually loves me. I sat up and groaned, rubbing the bruises from yesterday's battle with the Blues. Luckily it ended up in a truce, so we didn't have to worry fighting for a few days. I stumbled out of bed and grabbed my towel, heading to the bathroom. Finally some peace and quiet. I stepped in and turned the knob, letting the water glide over me.

"...I was standing…you were there…" I found myself singing. I usually don't sing…not like I have a bad voice or anything. Just something I never did. I continued to hum as I thought about Paige. That's it! That's why…I was singing for Paige.

"…Two worlds collided….and they could Never Tear Us Apart…" I smirked to myself and rinsed the shampoo from my hair. I shut off the water and started drying off…still singing to myself.

"…we could live…for a thousand years…but if I hurt you…" I stepped out of the shower and pictured the crowds cheering, clapping. I smiled and found myself lost in the love. I opened my eyes, that damned smirk still plastered on my face, and Darko standing there with a funny look on her face.

"What…the hell." Was all she said, snapping out of her phase. She turned around and shook her head.

"Your breakfast is getting cold. Hurry up." I could see her smiling to herself as she slipped around the corner.

It made my day knowing that she heard my song for her.

**Track Two 'Notorious by Duran Duran'**

I snuck around the corner into the kitchen, hoping to escape the wrath of Paige. She never was a morning person. I made it safely into the dining room before she noticed me. I sat down next to Donut and smiled. She returned the smile and set a plate of food in front of me.

"Morning, Simmons. I see your up on time. Doc made pancakes." She said, indicating the plate that sat in front of me. I nodded my head and dug in as Paige left the room. Moments later she returned with Grif on her heels. They both had a silly grin on their face as they sat down to eat their own breakfast. We sat around in silence…a very awkward silence that Grif broke. This happened to be the only time I didn't care if he opened his big mouth.

"So, uhh…Where's Sarge?" He asked, scanning the table. Sure enough, Sarge wasn't sitting in his seat between Paige and Doc. I shrugged, taking another bite of pancake.

"I think he went to command today." I murmured through a mouth of food. Everyone nodded and continued to eat again in the awkward silence. After a while Paige finished and left…mumbling something about being bored and going to watch a movie. Well, she was right. It was very boring. So I stuffed the rest of my breakfast down and cleared my place.

After a couple games against Grif, a quick tune-up, and a couple pages of a book…I realized I was as bored as Paige. I decided I would join her and watch the movie. I headed down the hall, much to Grif's protest…jealous bastard…when I noticed loud music emitting from the usually quiet room. I peered in just as Paige slid by, hairbrush in hand, singing along to the movie. It was rather amusing to watch her dance around her room, sliding on the wood flooring.

"…Burns the skiiin from your eyes…" She sang loudly, still oblivious to my presence.

"…Something they'll never destroy….Graaand Notorious Slam!" She spun around and almost collided into me. She dropped the brush and stared wide-eyed at me. I smiled weakly as she flushed.

"Sorry…I was just…here to watch the movie..." I mumbled, pointing to the movie that still played in the background. Her embarrassment quickly changed to anger.

"OUT!" She screeched, pointing to the door, her eyes flaming. She didn't have to tell me twice.


	2. Chapter 2

Blood Gulch Blues

**Track Three 'Life by E-Type'**

Day Eighteen. Time of Day: Too damn Early. 

I sat up and groaned, checking my systems before leaving for the kitchen. It's only been eighteen days since activation? It seemed more like a year to me. For those who don't know…I am SBSAR 3329 Version 2, Codename: Serena. I was on a Pelican run for UNSC when it was accidentally shot down by a tank, apparently named Sheila. Luckily I landed near Blood Gulch Red Base Alpha where their leader, Sarge, fixed me up. Unfortunately I am now half robot and relocated to serve Red Base. Thought I do admit things haven't been too bad here. I already made some friends, and I believe the Soldier by the name of Simmons takes interest in me. Great, now I'm talking like a robot. These systems are screwing with my head.

The day started off normally. Breakfast, where we learned Sarge was on a trip to Red Command. We then played some game, listened to music, and hung out. Most our team headed off to do their own thing, but I stuck around in the living area, for one reason...the surround sound system the Red Team had installed. After peering around to make sure no one was approaching, I pulled the cable from my Armor's arm socket and plugged it in. I flipped through my list of songs that had been downloaded straight into my data and found one perfect for the moment. Grinning, I slid across the floor as the song started. My friend, Paige, and I tended to be very active when singing to a song.

"..I got life. You're always my mind...you gotta believe it's something, alright." I started out, having fun just being alive again. I was truly thankful for Sarge's repairs.

"It's tiiime to seee..." I belted out again, hearing an approaching member. I didn't care...this was too damn fun! Simmons strolled into the room, and watched my carefully, apprehensive at first. I smiled and sung to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him forward.

"...I got Life...you're always on my mind..." I danced around him, and he finally relaxed and decided to join. I didn't know he knew this song, but hey! Not Like I cared.

"What's that sound...my destiny is bound for change, lost and found." He sang along, smiling warmly at me. It made me feel all fuzzy inside. I giggled slightly and sung the next line, still dancing around him. Before I knew it, the song ended...and I fell into the chair, laughing hysterically. It was then that I noticed Simmons stiffen, and I spun around.

Paige stood there with Grif, Donut and Doc not too far behind them. Paige leaned against the wall, Grif's arm around her shoulder, grinning like an idiot.

"Nice, Serena. Liked the little dance you did, too. By the way, didn't know you could sing Simmons." She shook her head and laughed quietly before heading back to her room. Everyone stared for a few seconds longer before leaving themselves.

**Track Four 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper'**

"I'll look like a dork..." He muttered quietly. I shook my head and smiled.

"You'll be fine!" Assuring him, giving a quick hug and fixing a strand of hair. He returned the smile and nodded. I turned to the stereo and flipped it on. I am stationed at Red Base Alpha. My name is Medical Officer Frank Dufresne...and that is Franklin Donut. We decided, after all the strange things going on, to have a little fun on our own. So here we are, about to have a singing contest. I could tell by Franklin's body language that he was nervous. But I know he would be fun. Besides, it was only me.

"I come home...in the mornin' light, my mother say when you gunna live your life right..." He started singing as the music begins. His voice high then normal to match the pitch of the song. He started easing into it and having a blast just being silly.

"...and Girls...they wanna have fuuun!" He started dancing around with a broom, totally letting loose as I was the only one watching. I clapped with the music and cheered him on. It's always a good thing to let out during war. Maybe it will help the others realize that peace is better then fighting. I noticed Simmons and Serena peer into the room from the hallway and watch Donut continue to sing his song. I thought it was best not to tell him...so I acted as if no one was there.

"...I wanna be the one to walk in the sun! Oh, Girls wanna have fun!" Serena and Simmons grinned at me before winking and leaving us in peace as Donut's song ended. He turned to me, blushing like crazy. I clapped and hugged him.

"It was wonderful! You have a great voice." I grinned at him. He gave me a mischievous voice and pulled me to the center of the room.

"It's your turn now, and this time I choose the song." He smirked and switched the track on the CD.

**Track Five "Disarm by The Smashing Pumpkins"**

I pulled him over and switched to a random song. Hopefully he knew the lyrics...it was his CD. It happened to be a slower song, and the smile he gave me affirmed my assumptions. He knew the song very well in fact.

"Disarm you with a smile...and cut you like you want me too..." He sung, his voice smooth and delicate. I blushed as he looked me into the eye. Was it wrong to feel this way? It...felt so right though. I returned the smile and swayed to the music.

"The killer in me is a killer in you...My love...I send this smile over to you..." I blushed deeply as I heard the words and turned away. I couldn't. It wasn't right...but it felt so good. I continued to sway slightly to the song as he continued to serenade. Oh, I hope no one walks in at this time. I could hear laughter from down the hall. Sounded like Simmons and Serena were having fun. But what of Paige and Grif? Just as long as they don't- Oh stop worrying, Frankie...it'll be fine.

"Oh! I used to be a little boy...so old in my shoes...what I choose is my voice..." He walked over to me and pulled me closer to him as he finished his song. I felt the body heat exchange between us as we stared into each other's eyes. Were we being too childish? Was this against the rules? Would anyone find out? All I could do was worry...and I know that Frank could see it.

"The killer in me is a killer in you...my love...I send this smile over you..." He finished, pulling me into the smallest, sweetest kiss ever.

Who cared if it wasn't right? At least it felt right. And right now...that is all that matters.


	3. Chapter 3

Blood Gulch Blues

**Track Six "Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult"**

(Translated from Spanish...cause I know not everyone knows it...)

I could hear it. It made my circuits cringe. The stupid humans were singing. Even I couldn't escape it. It traveled into ever nook and cranny in this canyon. I was working on the Warthog that they managed to blow-up again when I heard it. It first started with the Orange one. Then the others followed suit. It was like an epidemic. Let's just hope I don't get pulled into it.

Hmmm...I wonder if the Sergeant put any music in my data. Wait! What am I saying? I don't need music. Unless...

Three Four Main Objectives:

Fix Everything

Hate the Orange One.

Call Mom more often.

Hate the Orange One's Girlfriend.

Nope. No need for music.

Damn my curiosity chip. I found myself scanning my systems for any sign of instrumental sounds. Ah, here's one. Don't...Fear the...Reaper. Don't Fear the Reaper. Sounds interesting. NO! I need to stop. There, I fulfilled my curiosity. Now stop. Ok, fixing the Warthog. I should add this nut here, and maybe it will stop rattling, and if I bang on this tube it makes an interesting little song.

Oh no. It's taking me over, too. I can't escape it! Need...to...concentrate...on...Warthog.

"All our times have come..."

………….Son of a Bitch. I somehow started the song without actually noticing. It has taken me over. Can't...resist...music.

"Here, but now they're gone. Seasons don't fear the reaper." I continued. It was actually pretty good. It made my work easier and more enjoyable. I heard Sheila come alongside and sit there...watching as I worked. I should stop the music now. Now how do I do that! Damn, I need a manual!

"Come on. Baby...Don't Fear the Reaper..." I muttered, hoping to hide my foolishness from Sheila. I really need that manual. Must not sing in front of...Sheila. I could feel my wires heat up. Oh, here comes the sweating. Maybe if I just don't look, she won't notice.

"Baby, I'm your man..." I found myself singing out. Oh no...not now. YES! There it is. Turned off. Whew...Now, just fix the jeep. Ignore Sheila. She didn't notice. Oh good. She isn't saying anything. Now, where was my wrench?

**Track Seven "Dream by The Cranberries"**

"Baby, I'm your man..." Oh, how sweet. I always knew what a wonderful man Lopez was. He was singing so sweetly. Seeing as he was busy, I left him to his work. I'll visit him tomorrow. As I headed back, I had a strange urge to listen to my own songs. Luckily I had some entertainment built into my systems so I wouldn't go crazy...even though I was simply a tank AI. I flipped through the songs and came across one. Dream. I liked dreams, and dreaming. This seemed perfect.

Oh! I know this song. I started humming its melody quietly as I headed back to my base.

"...changing everyday, every possible way." The words seemed to flow naturally. It was a peaceful tune, perfect for the day. Driving over the hill, I saw the base in the distance...faintly sad for being on the team opposite of Lopez.

"And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me..." The sun shone upon my armor and glowed. I tried to glance back at Lopez as I left him. I felt like Juliet...I was in love with someone I couldn't be in love with. If only things we're different.

"…never quite as it seems, cause you're a dream to me...dream to me." I sung sadly, knowing he was simply a dream. I was Juliet and he was my Romeo. Am I getting to mushy? Maybe I was being silly. I hummed the tune as I stopped at my base. Caboose stood outside waiting.

"Where have you been Sheila?" He asked suspiciously. He glanced at the way I had come and back to me. I simply continued to sing my song. He pouted slightly, and looked a little hurt. But it would never work between us. I as an AI...he was a human. He turned back into base without another word as I sang.

"Impossible to ignore...impossible to ignore." I turned to face red base and watched the sun set behind it. In due time...my Lopez will come to me in due time. All I could do was wait. My Romeo...

Ok, now I know I'm getting to mushy. Well, I guess its ok to be silly and in love once in a while. I finished humming the song as the music died.

Now, I should go do something else before anyone else sees me like this. Wouldn't be good for everyone to know that I'm a softy...I am a Tank after all.

**Track Eight "Dragostea din Tei by O-Zone"**

Sheila. How could you? How could yoooooou? This is so unfair. She left me for the...mechanical...thing. You knew I loved you. You betrayed me.

All these words passed through my mind as I headed back to my room. I couldn't tell her any of these things. It would be hurtful and I know what it feels like to be hurt. I must get this out of my mind. I...need…happiness. I know!

I ran the rest of the way to my room, grinning. I slammed the door and turned up my radio.

"Numa Numa ai ay! Numa Numa ai ay!" I sang loudly. I was good. I was always good at this song. My mother said I was. It made me happy. I hopped around my room, singing at the top of my lungs. This made me feel better. Who cares about Sheila?

Wait...I DON'T care about Sheila. I remember...there was a girl. At home. She liked me. The only girl who ever liked me. I will marry her. Yes. Perfect.

"Mi Ya Hi! Mi Ya Who! Mi Ya Hah! Mi Ya Haha!" I burst out happily. She will be Mrs. Caboose. Yes, I like it. I don't need Sheila. I knew this song would make me happy. My music clicked off and I turned around to face Church. He looked oddly at me. I don't know why. He always looked oddly at me.

"Guess what! Guess! GUESS!" I asked him, smiling. He blinked...opened his mouth. Then closed it again. Then opened it. He looked kind of like my fish back at home.

"Ummm...You. Are. Going...I have no clue. What?"

"I...am getting married. Me! I am."

"...Sheila?"

"No. No. It is Steph. My next door neighbor. Yes, Her."

He rolled his eyes and exited the room. Yes. I will get married. The milk will not be free. But I don't care. I was happy. I restarted my music and continued my song.

"Allo! Salute! Blah blah blah blah-blah blah. Feta Cheta!"


	4. Chapter 4

Blood Gulch Blues

**Track Nine "Sparkling Diamonds by Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge)"**

"He's singing that stupid Numa thing...song. Whatever it's called." Church announced when he entered the kitchen.

"Dragostea din tei?" I suggested, munching down on my candy bar. He gave me an odd look.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" He sat down next to Tex and watched her closely. Ugh, those two made me sick. They think they aren't in love...but it's so freaking obvious. Gag me with a spoon.

"Soo...ummm...I'm gunna go play a game." I stated, standing up and stepping out of the room. Finally, Freedom. Church says I'm just jealous I don't have someone of my own. What's good about it when you can't even admit it! It's ridiculous…really it is. Turning on my mini TV, I lied on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Just like I always do. This life is very, very, _very_ boring. I finished my snack and threw the wrapper on the floor with the other trash. Very boring indeed. I flipped through the channels, and upon finding nothing, turned the TV off. So, there I was, staring at the ceiling. Doing nothing. Like always.

That's when I heard it. It was faint, but I still heard it. My childhood Doctor did say I had good hearing. Finding it better then sitting around staring at a ceiling, I decided to investigate.

The stars rose out on the horizon as I came on top our base. It was a beautiful night, even I must say. But what struck me as odd was that Tex was up there. She seemed to be...dancing and singing!

Sure enough, just below the twilight on the roof of our base was Tex, dancing and singing to the song that played on the stereo she had brought up. She wore a black dress and heels, even make-up! What was she, DRUNK!

Err, never mind. On the table that the stereo sat on was a tall glass bottle; the label easily read Champagne Cristale. One of the most expensive bottles I've ever seen.

"A Kiss on the hand may be continental, but diamonds are a girl's best friend!" She seemed quite into the song. It surprised me, amused me, and confused me. Then again she always did that to me. Is it just me or is she out to get me?

"Men grow cold as girls grow old...and we all loose our charms in the end..." Ok, even if she was drunk this was a little weird. I stepped forward and waved slightly. She stopped and stared for a few seconds, then blew a kiss.

"...But diamonds are a girl's best friend!" This...was way too weird. I need to get outta here. Before she does anything to hurt me. Her song ended shortly after as I made my way back to the exit, but she reached me first.

"Tucker! So happy to...to see you...hic" She stumbled on her words slightly, but seemed very happy nonetheless. She led me down the stairs, her Champagne bottle in her other hand.

"I have an hic Idea! Come on! It will be fun!" She yanked on my arm as she led the way. This isn't gunna be good...

**Track Ten "Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin"**

The hall was dark and cold, water dripping down the side as I stood silently. The only light that shone was that of a door in the distance. I stepped forward, my footstep echoing loudly down the stone passageway. It raised my gun and cocked it back slowly as I advanced, the light getting larger. I shifted my sunglasses and reached the door. It was now or never.

'Fire your guns, It's time to run...blow me away.' The words suddenly running across my mind.

Kicking open the door, I brought my gun level with the shocked man that stood before me. His eyes moved slowly from my face to the barrel of the gun. He grinned nervously and opened his mouth to speak. I tilted my head and pulled the trigger. He crumpled to the floor in pain and moaned.

'Only the strongest will survive, Lead me to heaven when we die...' The song continued, echoing in my head.

I shrugged and stepped over his body, continuing to my destination. Nothing is to stop me. As I slipped down the corridor, the screaming of my latest victim echoes loudly down the hall...signaling any back-up that could aid him. I dashed down the corridor, dodging bullets and filling my enemies with lead. I felt the sweat drop down my face as I took down one man after another.

'There's nothing left, so save your breath…lying in wait.' I couldn't seem to clear my thoughts, the melody haunting me as I fought.

And there it was. I saw it down the hall, the door I needed. I felt a bullet graze my left arm as I grabbed for the doorknob, swinging the door open and diving in. I sent a few more shots through the door as I slammed it shut. I grinned to myself as I heard a sickening crunch as one man hit the metal door.

"Mr. Washington..." A voice droned behind me. I clenched my teeth and gripped my gun tighter.

"Agent Smith..." I replied casually, turning to face my foe. He sat straight in the chair across the room, the fluorescent lights glaring off his sunglasses. He smirked at me and stood up, taking slow steps towards me.

"It has been a while..." He continued as I circled around him, keeping my distance in case he decided to launch an attack. We continued to take careful steps around the room, our eyes locked even though we both wore shades.

"Been a while, indeed. Now, if you don't mind..." He stopped in front of the only other piece of furniture in the room...a desk, "You're standing right in my way."

"Oh? I am? That's too bad..." He feigned a frown, taking a step towards him. I raised my gun and took aim.

He was too quick...He pulled a pistol from his jacket and shot as I pulled the trigger. I watched as the bullet soared towards me...

'Only the strongest will survive, lead me to heaven when we die. I am the shadow on the wall, I'll be the one to save us all...'

"Hey. Washington...person. Wake up." Came a distant voice. I suddenly felt someone shaking me as my eyes snapped open.

Damn...it was only a dream.

**Track Eleven "I'm Blue by Eiffel 65"**

I wondered if I should be more frightened at the drunken Tex that stood before me, or the Karaoke party she set up in the Red's living room. She stood there grinning foolishly at everyone that surrounded her and hiccupped occasionally. Well, I guess it was a plus that she was actually having a good time...not threatening to kill anyone...or something like that. You know, I kind of like her better when she's drunk. I should spike her drinks from now on...

She moved to the radio and flipped the switch. The music automatically blared through the speakers, a tune that was familiar to me as a kid...

Amazingly, the party was starting great. Everyone joined in, even the grumpy and sleepy Washington. He did seem a bit annoyed, though, that Grif was the one in charge of waking him up. Soon the song changed to one of Tucker's favorites. It drives everyone else crazy. I groaned as I saw the familiar smirk form across his features. He jumped at the opportunity, grabbing the mike and suddenly singing along with the words.

And surprisingly...he sang well.

"Yo listen up here's a story, about a little guy that lives in a blue world." He belted out, everyone moaning at his obnoxious singing. I could see Tex in the corner bouncing to the music, and Paige shoving a pillow over her ears as she stood with her sister. I grinned, coming up with a great plan.

"...and everything is blue for him and his self, and everybody around..." He continued as I snuck off. I snuck around the room to where he was keeping his stuff, and started searching. Simmons and Washington looked on curiously as I grabbed something and went back to my seat.

"...blue are the people here that walk around, blue like my corvette, it's standing outside..." The song went on...as did his singing. I looked down at my prize, a picture. Oh no, not just any picture. THE picture. The Picture of all pictures. Tucker prized this one over all, even over the one of Naomi Watts, an actress he really liked from the distant past. This...is my secret weapon.

"...I have a girlfriend and she is so blue..." The line finally came. I flipped the photograph over and held it over my head. His reaction was immediate. I smirked as he stopped singing at once, his face slower turning red. Then, without warning, he dove at me...tackling me out of my chair as he clawed my arm trying to reach the picture. He snatched it out of my fingers and crawled back, his eyes wide and his teeth clenched. I gasped for air and sat up.

"Jesus Tucker. What the hell!" I managed to choke out. He sat in his corner, gripping onto the picture as if it was his only lifeline. I rolled my eyes at him and stood up. Holy Cockbites, all that drama for a goddamn picture...he must really like that Amanda girl...


	5. Chapter 5

Blood Gulch Blues

**Track Twelve "Dirty Little Secret by The All American Rejects"**

Ok, ok. This was fun. Yeees. Very fun! Go me. I knew this party would be better hooked up to the Red Base's surround sound. Woot. Loud parties are fun. Loud parties...and liquor. Yeah. So far everyone was having fun. That's good. A lot of people actually participated in the musical fun. I was very proud. Now, if I can only get Leonard to sing. Hehe...I must make him sing. I grinned devilishly as I turned to my boyfriend. Time for Plan A...

Wait. I don't have a Plan A. SHIT. Oh well, I guess I just have to do what comes to mind first.

What was I supposed to be doing again?

Oh, yes! Get Church to sing. Yes. I will get My Lenny to sing. I shall...spike his drink! Nono...that wouldn't work. I will...blackmail him! Nono...I have nothing on him. I shall tempt him to sex! Nono...Too many people.

Damn, I have nothing. I guess my idea is ruined...I feel like crying. Oh well, at least this awesome song started playing. This awesome song that Churchy is singing, too. I like this tune. It is cat- WAIT!

LEONARD IS SINGING! Wooooohooo! Yay! I knew my plan would work. It always works.

"I go around a time or two, Just to waste my time with you..." He sand out, his voice so intoxicating...like the Bloody Mary I had earlier. He smiled to and I bounded happily in my corner. It made me happy.

"I'll keep you my dirty little secret..."

"...dirty little secret..." I completed his line under my breath. I pondered why he choose to sing this song...it was so unlike him.

"...Who has to know, when we live such fragile lives...it's the best way we survive..." I felt the effects of the alcohol draining from my system as he approached me. He reached me and smiled, singing his silly little song. I could feel everyone staring at us...and I felt myself sober up faster then I could say 'Margarita'.

"...Just another regret, hope that you can keep it, my dirty little secret..." He sung low, staring into my eyes. Ok...after this song. He's dead.

Wooooh...What is he doing? What the hell, why is he kneeling! Nono...no..no..no...oh god.

"...dirty little secret..." He finished, pulling out a ring box as he knelt before me.

"Allison Darko...will you marry me?" He asked softly. My mouth opened and closed...yup, like a fish. I took deep breathes and smiled. I tackled him in a bear hug.

"Of course, cockbite...why would I say no?" He grinned cockily and slipped the engagement ring onto my finger. I returned the grin.

"Drinks all around!" I cried out suddenly, jumping up and running for the bar.

**Track Thirteen 'If you like Pina Coladas by Rupert Holmes'**

The party ended in the early hours of the morning, and everyone fell asleep in the oddest places possible. You know, I think it was the alcohol that did that. Anyway, on with the story. Everyone got along fine, and had a great time...they got drunk, sang, and fell asleep in the weirdest possible places. I think Caboose ended up sleeping under the sink...

Tucker turned in his sleep, hugging his picture of Amanda that Church had stolen earlier that night. As he turned, he whacked his head on the leg of the table he had been sleeping under, causing him to wake in mass amounts of pain.

"Ah! Fuckberries!" He cried out, rubbing his head. He already had a headache from all the alcohol he consumed, so the bump only made it worse.

"Shut it, Tucker. I'm trying to sleep!" Came the grumpy voice of Simmons from across the room where he was snuggling with his new girlfriend, Serena. Tucker managed to crawl out from under the table without waking anyone else...or causing injury to himself.

'_If ..u .ik. p..a co..da...'_

"What was that!" Tucker asked no one in particular, especially since everyone was asleep. His eyes darted around the room as he grabbed a stick that lay conveniently near his feet.

"I said SHUT IT, Tucker!" Came Simmons' grumpy voice again.

"But...didn't you hear it?" Tucker asked the sleepy maroon soldier. Simmons sat up, waking Serena as he moved.

"I have no clue what your talking about, cockbite...now go back to bed." By this time, everyone was waking up from all the commotion in the room.

'_If .o. .i.e ma...g l.v. a. m..ni.h...' _

This time, even though all were half-asleep, the entire room could hear the eerie noises that floated through the room. Tucker gripped his make-shift weapon in one hand and his picture in the other. Both Simmons and Washington were on their feet, despite the massive hangovers, and were looking for any sort of weapon.

"What in god's name was that!" Paige asked, sitting up from her make-shift bed on the floor. She grabbed her shotgun that lay next to her and pulled back the bolt. Grif sat up from his position next to Paige and shrugged.

"Sounds...mean."

'_I. y.. ...e p..a co..da...'_

The group was now wide awake, looking down the hallway where the noise seemed to be coming from. Everyone made their way down the creepy hall, clinging to each other or their weapons. Soon they found the source of the strange noise, it growing louder as they reached the supposedly empty bedroom of Sarge. Simmons nodded to Donut, giving him the OK to go in. Donut slowly opened the door and peeped in.

Inside lay Sarge, sound asleep in his bed. The noise now audible thanks to the open door.

"If you...like Pina...Coladas...Grif just has...half a brain..." Came the unmistakable gruff voice of the red sergeant as he sang in his sleep. Everyone relaxed instantly upon seeing the unconscious soldier, and some even headed back to the living room for sleep after they found out what was going on.

"I am...into...champagne. At a bar...called...O'Malley's..." Donut quietly shut the door and headed back to his bed on the kitchen's counter-top.

**Track Fourteen '?'**

After the incident with Sarge's sleep-singing, everyone thought it best if they headed to their own room...or base. The Blues headed home, and the Reds fell asleep in their own comfy beds...leaving the dark living room a mess. And alone. In the corner of the room the Red's computer booted up, seemingly by itself. The screen clicked on and slowly lit up the trashed room.

"Finally, those fools have left!" The computer cackled evilly through the speakers...

"I can listen to my own music! Far better then those fools." O'Malley said to himself. He flipped through the song lists on the computer and came across one. Complainte de le Butte.

"This sounds fascinate- Oh, Hell no! A French Love song!" He clicked to the next song.

"Hell's Bells...getting closer." He murmured, switching to the next song.

"Shine On You Crazy-...I'm not crazy! Fool." And again switched the song. It started slow, but he seemed to enjoy the beat and left it for a bit.

"Evil...Perfect. This...Interpol isn't so bad." He laughed manically, and then stopped to enjoy his final choice. Finding the lyrics on a website, he was able to sing along...off-key.

"Rosemary...heaven restores you in life...coming with me...through the aging, the fear and the strife..."

_**THE END**_

Author's Note: Thanks for reading my story, I hope you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it...but keep in mind that this story was written on vacation when I was bored, so it's not the best work...P THANKS! -


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